If a conservative doesn’t like guns, he doesn’t buy one.
If a liberal doesn’t like guns, he wants all guns outlawed.

If a conservative is a vegetarian, he doesn’t eat meat..
If a liberal is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for everyone.

If a conservative is homosexual, he quietly leads his life.
If a liberal is homosexual, he demands legislated respect.

If a conservative is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation.
A liberal wonders who is going to take care of him.

If a conservative doesn’t like a talk show host, he switches channels.
Liberals demand that those they don’t like be shut down.

If a conservative is a non-believer, he doesn’t go to church.
A liberal non-believer wants any mention of God and religion silenced.
(Unless it’s a foreign religion, of course!)

If a conservative decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for it, or may choose a job that provides it.
A liberal demands that the rest of us pay for his.

If a conservative reads this, he’ll forward it so his friends can have a good laugh.
A liberal will delete it because he’s “offended.”

I’ll fix that for you

1. guns make killing very easy; liberals hate them, conservatives love them

2. some fringe libs want to outlaw meat; the rest are fine with it

3. conservatives want everybody to confirm to their idea of morality, even when one’s morality has no effect on them.

4. liberals are willing to help the less fortunate. conservatives think everybody is a scheming beggar and should be shot

5. liberals organize sponsor boycotts of talk shows they find offensive, letting advertisers know they won’t support anyone with those beliefs.

6. liberals believe every religion and belief should be respected as long as noone’s rights aren’t infringed. conservatives want everyone to practice their religion

7. liberals see health and life as basic rights. conservatives think the right to life is just another “hand-out”

8. if a conservative reads this, he’ll pass it along to his friends so they can all be smug together. liberals will do the same